"Quincy: Life is Good." Discuss.
There are many ways in which life is good in Quincy. First, downtown Quincy has a variety of businesses, ranging from a tattoo parlor and pleather goods shop to an authentic German bakery and the town's only sushi restaurant (owned and operated, naturally, by Chinese immigrants). Second, Quincy has a history remarkable for hosting a Lincoln-Douglas debate, maintaining a deep channel for Mississippi River trade, being a documented stop for folks utilizing the Underground Railroad, and winning the Illinois Dept of Transportation Aeronautics Division "Best Heliport" award (Blessing Hospital Heliport) in 2000. Finally, Quincy has many family-friendly events scheduled in the summertime, such as a hot air balloon rally, music festivals, town barbecues, and Quincy Gems baseball games, where the team mascot - the Gem Bird - happily stands for photos with adoring fans.
But life can also be not so good in Quincy. First, if one does not own a car in Quincy, getting one's basic needs covered can be very difficult. For example, the only places to get food within immediate walking distance of my neighborhood are the hospital cafeteria and a Dairy Queen. And sometimes the Dairy Queen's soft serve machine breaks down. Second, while Quincy itself is on a bluff, the immediate surroundings are prone to flooding, as was seen in 1993 and earlier this summer, when waters reached the 500-year flood stage. Third, no one seems to know why Quincy is called the "Gem City," and when asked if there's anything here in town that an out-of-towner should not miss, most people recommend going to a different town: Hannibal, MO (Mark Twain's hometown). Finally, when an adoring fan stands next to the Gem Bird to get her photo taken, she quickly realizes that the Gem Bird looks really bored and smells like wet dog.
Some parts of Quincy support the idea that "Life is Good," while other aspects suggest that life may not be so good. Determining whether or not life is good in Quincy depends upon how you define a good life. A car owner who values pleather goods, an award-winning heliport, and fun events for the entire family would probably say that life in Quincy is pretty good. On the other hand, a lactose-intolerant non-driving hydrophobe critical of Mark Twain's work may not enjoy living in Quincy.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Circumcision!
First, a few disclaimers: No, I do not currently have an opinion in the pro- vs. anti- circumcision debate. No, I do not know if I will have my boys circumcised if/when I have kids. No, I do not plan on including any photos with this post.
There are three accepted techniques of performing a circumcision: the Gomco (Pamchenko?), the Plastibell, and the Thing That I Haven't Yet Learned. The Gomco involves a steel device that looks like an old-timey pocket stapler to hold the baby boy's foreskin while you make a clean cut around it with a scalpel. The Plastibell uses a plastic contraption and string that also guides the doctor in cutting the foreskin, but a plastic collar remains around the penis for a few days to a week. One of the benefits of the Plastibell is that the baby doesn't need to have any bandages; the ring, along with some dried skin, falls off in a few days to a week on its own. One of the benefits of the Gomco is that parents don't need to worry about something falling off of their baby's penis in a few days to a week: an event that may be disconcerting, especially to squeamish fathers.
I first encountered these procedures in a conference room, where a line of play-dough model penises were wrapped in nitrile foreskins cut from the fingers of blue exam gloves. The order of operations seemed simple enough: clean and locally anesthetize, clamp the foreskin and break any adhesions, place the device of choice, and snip. No problem!
When I observed a doctor perform the procedure for real, the baby getting circumcised seemed to think there was a problem. In fact, he decided this would be a great venue to attempt a new record for the longest string of rude comments ever screamed out in baby language. Eventually, the upper-register receptor cells in my ears degenerated from overuse so this wasn't a persistent issue. By the end of the procedure, when the baby was safely back in Mom's arms, we were all friends once again.
There are three accepted techniques of performing a circumcision: the Gomco (Pamchenko?), the Plastibell, and the Thing That I Haven't Yet Learned. The Gomco involves a steel device that looks like an old-timey pocket stapler to hold the baby boy's foreskin while you make a clean cut around it with a scalpel. The Plastibell uses a plastic contraption and string that also guides the doctor in cutting the foreskin, but a plastic collar remains around the penis for a few days to a week. One of the benefits of the Plastibell is that the baby doesn't need to have any bandages; the ring, along with some dried skin, falls off in a few days to a week on its own. One of the benefits of the Gomco is that parents don't need to worry about something falling off of their baby's penis in a few days to a week: an event that may be disconcerting, especially to squeamish fathers.
I first encountered these procedures in a conference room, where a line of play-dough model penises were wrapped in nitrile foreskins cut from the fingers of blue exam gloves. The order of operations seemed simple enough: clean and locally anesthetize, clamp the foreskin and break any adhesions, place the device of choice, and snip. No problem!
When I observed a doctor perform the procedure for real, the baby getting circumcised seemed to think there was a problem. In fact, he decided this would be a great venue to attempt a new record for the longest string of rude comments ever screamed out in baby language. Eventually, the upper-register receptor cells in my ears degenerated from overuse so this wasn't a persistent issue. By the end of the procedure, when the baby was safely back in Mom's arms, we were all friends once again.
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